Monday, April 15, 2013

Hindsight is 20/20

Hello all!

I figured today I would tell y'all a little bit about myself...

I am a twenty something southern girl, born and raised in Knoxville, Tennessee.

I will hopefully be entering nursing school within the year.

I am an avid blog reader, patio sitter, Mexican food eater, and wine and margarita drinker. I love live music and I go to a couple of music festivals a year. I will be at the Hangout Music Festival in a month! (Check it out if you have never heard of it) I'm a huge fan of Dave Matthews Band (Dave is sooo sexy).  I cohabitate with my amazing boyfriend of almost 5 years. We recently purchased a house, so lately my days involve DIY projects, decorating, and cleaning up after my three kids (The boyfriend and our dogs; Bentley & Dallas). I have recently discovered I have my grandmother's green thumb and think of myself a novice gardener.

Growing up I was very active, playing softball for 15 years. After meeting the boyfriend and moving out of my parents house I no longer could rely on my parents to feed me. Although, I was taught healthy eating habits, all that went out the window when I was out on my own.

The boyfriend wined and dined me. (Literally) We were eating out 3-4 times a week- maybe more! It also did not help that I work at a restaurant with the most amazing food. Nom Nom! I had no clue of the massive amount of calories that I was consuming. The tiny girl my boyfriend fell in love with slowly but surely started ballooning. Down went my self-confidence and up with my pants size. How Depressing!

Looking back at old photos of me, I remember thinking "I am so fat" or "I wish I could lose 20lbs" What a psycho I was! I would give anything to be at the weight I was back then....hindsight is 20/20

Here's a picture of me from my freshman year of college.
August 2008

And here is a picture of me now...
The Boyfriend & I in Miami a year ago.

I haven't brought myself to take a more recently picture. I'm afraid of what I might see. 

I struggle everyday with food. My worst fault is trying to eat well and seeing something delicious and thinking that I can have it and that I will eat "perfect" tomorrow. I am tired of not liking what I see in the mirror. I am tired of having a full closet of clothes and none of them fitting.I am tired of not having any energy. I am tired of not wanting to be seen in shorts or a swimsuit. I am tired of being the "big girl" in my group of friends, Damnit! 

One of the main reasons for starting this blog was to get inspiration and hold myself accountable. I am on a journey now, not just to lose weight, or look good in a bikini (although those are definitely a plus) I want to be healthy, and I want to be strong! For years I let myself be ruled by a "number." -Not anymore! I am concentrating on inches lost vs. pounds lost. I want to see a difference in my body versus just one on the scale. 

Hope y'all are having a happy Monday!


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